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Help yourself first


"Love yourself enough to say no to others' demands on your time and energy. 

Once you have your mask on things get really exciting on the path. You are then able to help others, by put their masks on for them. You can guide other to the path; you can become their oxygen line. You can begin to bring them peace. No longer are you seen as selfish, your true nature is seen as a selfless, giving person.


Meeting your physical needs, such as getting enough sleep and exercise

Meeting your emotional needs, such as asking for support when you need it

Meeting your mental needs, such as having a stimulating job

Meeting your spiritual needs, such as taking time to meditate or pray

Physical needs

If you're regularly exhausted because you never take time to eat a proper meal, get a good night's sleep, or get some exercise, then start making these things an absolute priority.

Do you stay up late with your spouse, watching TV while slumped on the sofa half-asleep, because you think your partner will be offended if you go to bed alone? Do you have no time for your own breakfast because you're too busy preparing lunchboxes for your children?

Being well-rested, and taking care of your health, means that you'll have the energy you need to help those around you. If you feel constantly exhausted, you're likely to snap at your loved ones when you least mean to.

Emotional needs

Some of us end up being the "support system" to whom friends and family come to with problems. It's a great privilege to be known as a good listener, but sometimes it's hard when you feel you need support - but you're worried about burdening people.

Ask a good friend or a relative if you can have a chat with them. Explain that you're going through a difficult time, and it would help to have someone to talk to. They'll be more than glad to help, especially if it means they can return a favor that you've provided for them in the past.

If you don't reach out to other people when you're feeling sad, angry, low or lonely, you can end up turning to unhealthy sources of comfort. Whether it's supersized bars of candy, a bottle of vodka, or drugs, all of these will eventually be damaging to you and to those around you.

Mental needs

We all need to feel challenged and stimulated by our daily life. If you never learn anything new, never push yourself to think a bit harder, or never do anything that tests your limits - you'll probably end up feeling that life lacks meaning.

On the flip side, if you're completely out of your depth with a particular area of studying or work, you're unlikely to be unhappy, stressed and anxious.

Spiritual needs

When life is busy, it's hard to take time for things which feel unproductive - like attending a religious service, meditating, taking a long bath, or praying. You might feel guilty about "sitting there doing nothing" if you're engaged in one of these activities.

But it's crucially important for us to find space and distance from day-to-day life, in order to take a fresh look at things. Some great thinkers have flashes of inspiration in the bath (Archimedes' Eureka moment comes to mind...). I'm sure that you've had your own experience that sometimes the solution to a tricky problem, or a new insight on life, comes when you're just relaxing.

Letting yourself take the time you need, without feeling guilty, means that you'll be able to support your family and friends with your perspective on problems or situations that they might be in. You'll be in a better state to not only cope with, but excel in, your own life.


To help others, you must help yourself first. If you try to help others initially, you will both remain unconscious and will not be able to guide them to the path. Sometimes what appears to the unskilled eye as a selfish gesture is really the most selfless gesture there is.

Posted Comments
" जीवन में उतारने वाली जानकारी देने के लिए धन्यवाद । कई लोग तो इस संबंध में कुछ जानते ही नहीं है । ऐसे लोगों के लिए यह अत्यन्त शिक्षा प्रद जानकारी है ।"
Posted By:  संतोष ठाकुर
"om namh shivay..."
Posted By:  krishna
"guruji mein shri balaji ki pooja karta hun krishna muje pyare lagte lekin fir mein kahi se ya mandir mein jata hun to lagta hai har bhagwan ko importance do aur ap muje mandir aur gar ki poja bidi bataye aur nakartmak vichar god ke parti na aaye"
Posted By:  vikaskrishnadas
"वास्तु टिप्स बताएँ ? "
""jai maa laxmiji""
Posted By:  Tribhuwan Agrasen
"यह बात बिल्कुल सत्य है कि जब तक हम अपने मन को निर्मल एवँ पबित्र नही करते तब तक कोई भी उपदेश ब्यर्थ है"
Posted By:  ओम प्रकाश तिवारी
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